When a bad-ass-bitch loses her swish.

I have 3 jobs, 2 kids and 1 awesome partner. I love adventure, I'm a fierce diva and I have crippling depression. 

I can have an amazing week full of adventure and laughs and rainbows and love and then look at the dishes in the sink and think "I'm a complete failure." I can get all the compliments, have people check me out all over town and know I'm hot shit, but at the end of the day see my arm skin sagging and feel worthless because "I've let myself go... again." 

I have aspirations. 

1) Be a Queen
This is not limited to being a Queen, this includes: dance lessons/practice, coaching new girls, making costumes, starting a costume and makeup resource group, being 100% in the culture. 

2) Lose 100 pounds
Eat healthier, feel better, get the rocking body this bitch deserves. 

3) Grad School & Painting
I want a MFA in Painting. I want it so bad I can smell the turpentine. Finding a good mix of good college, the program I want, not to far from home, and scholarship money is going to take some time and concentration. 

4) Get the damn kids under control
These little monsters think they run this house. 

How am I going to do it? By doing it. I start over all the time. Some times I start over after a few months, sometimes I start over after a few minutes, the goal is to never stop starting over. Don't give in, don't trust those voices, don't tell yourself things you wouldn't tell your best friend or your daughter. 

I need your love and support as much as you can use mine. I don't have my shit together and I don't always know where my priorities should be but I know in my heart I'm a bad-ass bitch and I can get that swish back if I want it.